you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
