Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
