i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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