that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
