Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
