i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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