did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
