Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
