office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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