But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
