I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
