I don't think brook has ever known best
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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