just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
