i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
