how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
