was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
