she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
