i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
