I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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