Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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