I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
