Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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