I'm going to rape someone's good day.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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