She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
