Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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