New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
