Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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