I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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