i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
