Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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