the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
