dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
