Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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