I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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