atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
