My sheets look like a crime scene.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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