just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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