that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
