if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
