You surviving the open bar?
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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