I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
