Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
