Pants 0. Shit 1.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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