Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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