STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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