Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
