im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
