Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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