Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
