What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize