Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
