we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
