I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
