My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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