we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
