I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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