if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
