Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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