Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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