So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i think i just lost a toe
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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