Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
