he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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